Welcome to Ponder Anew

Hello! I’m so glad you are here!

People living with dementia have a hard time coming to terms with the world as their perceptive abilities change, so they need you to walk with them and help them interpret what is going on. It takes courage, perseverance and the willingness to try different approaches to be a Care Partner!

“Caretakers” and “caregivers” often feel they know what’s best for the person with dementia; they often substitute their own preferences for those of the person, and then are astonished when the person pushes back. But dementia is not subject to our efforts to control it… I remember being astonished and angry that my mother no longer shared the reality we’d always taken for granted, and I wanted things to go back to the way they’d always been! Instead of staying in that difficult place, I learned to let her changing abilities guide me to be the Care Partner she needed. Over time, I was able to remain her loving daughter instead of assuming some other role. It meant that I was continually letting go of what didn’t work anymore, and discovering — in partnership with her — how best to accompany and love her where she was in that moment. And the next one. And the next one.

As time goes on, I will be sharing the things I’ve learned with you: what exactly is brain change; how to look for what is still working even as you grieve what is lost; how to overcome fear and make personal choices to prepare for our own aging process; how to see through your loved one’s eyes; and the big-picture questions of why we care for one another, and where God might be in this process.

Please feel free to contact me with your questions and share your situation. Together we can discover new ways of accompanying one another, for as Ram Dass wrote: “We’re all just walking each other home.”

I’m thrilled to launch the Ponder Anew website, and hope that you find here the assistance you’ve been looking for.